(10) Swan Life: Dreams

(I may edit this post later, but for now this is how it came out of me)

Feb 11 ’15

I just woke up from a dream. It’s 9:11 am and I got little sleep last night. I received a call from an old family friend. It is  this friend’s mother who contacted me and will be providing me with a place to stay today on the 11th. He called me at 4:58 am and we spoke for 1 hour and 36 minutes. This was the first time I spoke to him since around 2009. I never knew him very well. He is mother’s friend. Anyway, we had a great conversation where I shared my first blog post with him. He loved it. I saw that I was again receiving what I had recently asked for: Friends who understood me and were willing to take my coaching advice. (I am a [Swan] Life Coach) I am thankful and happy to see my needs met. I can tell that we will be good friends. 

The dream had held a lesson or message for me. This is what I remember:

I remember being around men and it was a weird a slightly negative experience. It was kinda dark and gloomy. I remember I was supposed to go to this nice place but it turned out to be a hotel room. A crappy one. It was a disappointment. But it was a room I recognized. I was somewhat interested in going to this room because I recognized it and thought I had no choice any way. So I went in search for this place. Then I was surrounded by mean people, mostly men who wanted to fight or hurt me in some way. 

I learned to fly. It felt more like floating though. I would just fly away from them so they would not get too close. Then I began doing things to mess with them. I would fly over, do something to their stuff (I think) and then fly off and hide. They would get mad and come after me. Even if they got close, they never caught me. So I felt confident.

 I needed handholds when I flew. So I would float over to a tree branch or building top and hold on so I would not float back down. Then I remember there was a specific guy (or at least the last guy). I flew into his bedroom on the second floor and may have left something there on his desk (after waking up I remembered it as some type of disk with love shining from it). Then I jumped out of the window and hid. I remember something significant to me: When I floated to one huge, smooth horizontal tree branch, I knew I could not hold on there. I needed handholds and knew I would just slip off if I tried to perch there. If I slipped off I would fall. While in the dream I thought it was strange that I knew (as a sleeping person) that I would not be supported. I thought to myself : can’t you hold on anywhere because this is a dream? So I moved further up, further away from the guy, where I could reach a holding spot. The guy was angry and stormed around his room. I felt that I had done it; I won. So now it was time to wake up. So I clung to the tree or side of his building and tried to wake up.  

It did not work. Okay...so what am I supposed to do now? Isn’t the dream over? Anyway I looked at the guy and he was faced away from me. I climbed up the side of the building and climbed on top. But when I got there it turned into level ground. There was grass, like a grass field. After waking up I thought or received intuition that: One man's building top is another man’s floor. The guy was standing a few yards in front of me. The guy had turned into a young boy (adolescent) and was no longer my enemy. He was a nice kid. There was now a younger girl next to him. He was not looking at me. They had their backs turned to me. I was uncomfortable being out in the open with no where to hide, so I started floating/flying again. 

I brought my arms out to my side and gently (almost angelic in the slowness) pushed myself up and the air down. I thought of it as flying but I was actually floating slowly up. It took effort to move through the air; concentration (ever since learning how to do it). I still needed things to hold onto once I reached a certain level. Kind of like swimming: need to paddle, hold something or sink. I wanted to be out of reach. It made me feel safe. So even if they did see me they could not catch me. 

So I floated up, looking towards the sky. I reached a power line as a holding point. Then I felt a gentle hand on my ankle. I looked down surprised. There, was the girl. She was laughing and smiling up at me. She was flying just like me! As I looked at her, while flipped up side down, we reached our hands towards each other. The power line was between us, although it was not used as support. Music, like heaven, played around us giving the moment a momentous feel. I heard actual tinkling sounds and they were so loud. The tinkling bell sound made me pay attention and focus. It reminded me of the story I had just posted on my blog the night before (2/10/15) where I added the section about feeling a twinkling sensation upon meeting my former boyfriends. It made me realize that she was important to me and that we were a match. We were the same. We could both fly! But for whatever reason that realization darkened the experience. I became instinctively upset and thought to myself “No! … She’s White!” Doesn’t that seem funny? But it was significant. This was a special person to me but she had to be White. It was so startling that I nearly fell from the sky. Luckily I just dipped and got ahold of myself. Then I woke up.  

As I lay awake, I am not entirely sure why someone being White was a problem. I think it is because I’m not White. Maybe I would like to connect with someone who looks more like me. I don’t really know, because many people I know are White. In fact, everyone in the dream was White. Everyone I have ever dated was White. As I was wondering about this I heard a small almost unnoticeable voice in my head whisper “She’s Japanese.” I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. I received more intuition that the girl represents a new friend I am going to meet. That she will be in a form that is unexpected or outside of my limited definition of who I can accept into my life. I don’t know if she really will be White, Japanese or something that has nothing to do with race. It just means that she will be different from what I want to accept. But I am supposed to accept her anyway. 

My own interpretation, outside of the one received through the Ether (or something...), is:  

I have my own definition in my head of what important people are supposed to look like or be to me. And much of the time through this experience I find that when things happen in real life they are always different. Like I keep being blindsided. Not necessarily by something bad or negative just completely different or the exact opposite of what I want. It seems to mean that I will receive what I want but that it “needs” to be through something I did not want. Or something that disturbs me in some way. Like I am supposed to get over these things. So I believe I will have all my needs met, but they may arrive in unexpected ways. 

The entire dream held symbols to be interpreted. For example: The angry man who turned into a kind boy is my husband. I’m too tired to figure out the whole meaning though. :-)

_________________________________________________________________________________

Remember the story of The Ugly Duckling? 

Many people misinterpret this story. Many think the story is about being ugly and magically becoming beautiful. Many try to apply this inappropriate logic to their lives. Hoping beyond hope, that they will one day transform into something better than they are. They miss the true point of this story. The most important part of this story is that the ugly duckling is not a duck. It is a swan that hatched from within a duck's nest. It wasn't ugly and then turned beautiful. It was always beautiful. It wasn't a duck who then turned into a swan. It was always a swan. It just needed to realize this. Once the little swan realized that it was literally a completely different bird, all its duck problems went away. It could be itself freely. It found that it wasn’t ugly after all. It was actually beautiful the whole time! The story is about finding who you really are.

That is the point of this Blog. It's to help you realize that you are already a Beautiful Swan. In order to do that, you must first understand that You Are Not A Duck!

__________________________________________________________________________

    

Hey Swans! If you feel the impulse to give, feel free to send a contribution to Swan Life Lessons by clicking the “Donate” button. Your generosity helps Raine-Skyy guide others through Swanhood. Thank you!